Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Fooling ourselves fooling the fool’s world….Holding on to false believes warped concepts distorted reality..!
The impenetrable surface called reality, deeper bottomless layers and layers of false truth each claiming to be the last and ultimate!
The illusions that satisfy your logic for a while, you toy with them and convince yourself and right then a parallel divergent reality emerges!
What is the purpose? What is the reason? What is the pattern? What is the rule??
Attachment is terrifying yet there is nothing more horrifying than detachment.! Hence we the disguised lover mother sister, loving needing hating wanting and keeping our reality closer..! scared to be liberated, scared to break away, skeptical that we will see the last layer!

lets play? you can play the lover and I can betray, I will get hurt and you shed the tears! we will play with honesty, you break the rules, the randomness will apply! you create god and he will justify our sins! I will thrive on my miseries and people will applaud! I will feel like the limelight is on me and I will cry the perfect tears..we will call it reality..

Saturday, December 19, 2009


Hmmm it seems purple when should have been pink…
life is teaching me something which I don’t seem to understand! I travel some distance to discover that I have reached at the same point where I began.
The flimsy little objects keep us distracted and satiated enough to keep us from finding the things we should have been looking for. We have to wrap our heads around mundane irrelevant things or the futility of life will kill us.! Imagine waking up one day and finding that we don’t really need food clothes or love… we have created a perfect alibi to life its called money! We can’t ever have enough! It’s a comforting thought if you try and analyze it..
From clothes to faragamo from eating for survival to eating sushi’s.. we have created needs to keep us entertained.!
But out of all the things we have could do…the most asinine thing we do is LOVE..
Keeping all the logic aside to fall, rebuking the concept of self, and entering the world of emotions. Love can’t ever sustain alone without other feelings! Happiness that you never experienced and such deep pain that only someone in love could describe! And its distracting enough to keep you from ever figuring out life!
Life plays us.. love desires needs keep us from ever knowing what life really was yet they formulate and create the essence of what we call “life”... maybe this is what life is…like the greatest secrets about life….There are NO secrets!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Hmm… in a new city “ the Mumbai” an unambiguous well defined entity.. Huge spaces filled with what are known as the human rats.. the insignificant rat!
What attracts people and essentially what makes them stay…The extreme warped deceptive sense of freedom that the city offers…fools rush in and get sucked in.! but then they say freedom cant ever be defined in absence of bondage! Freedom cant exist independent of attachment and limitations..
Cramped in a bus train struggling fighting for space how you retain the self that needs emancipation! Mumbai belongs to no one, nonchalantly she plays her game making us all believe we are the ones playing! (“she” because a man could never play games so sharply and precisely that we can’t look through them)!

To be continued…

Monday, December 7, 2009


Faith is the most fragile thing to hold on to yet somehow the support it gives is overpowering…falling into the rut and literally sometimes pushing yourself deeper.
Amidst the darkest hour to learn how to be abased and yet to remember how to be abound…the vile existence of nothingness… the seriousness that isn’t evidently visible in our frivolity!
Difficult proposition of believing when the reassurances are inadequate….the anxiousness of need, desires that are so centric and consuming!
Then somehow looking out for reasons for our failure and the limitation of our faith… learning to be patient yet not loosing your spirit… waiting on things fully aware that the manifestation of desires might have taken a while but it shall come to pass.

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Some mornings we wake up knowing something is not right. slowely all those thoughts that u had kept hidden in the back of your head come staring at you.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Making peace with all that shattered all that broke beyond repair…yet knowing everything broken isn’t damaged!

Knowing the difference between possibilities and reality… yet understanding the beauty of timing!

Accepting the plan that you can’t see or alter…yet believing the familiar destination you know you would reach!

Knowing the limitation of existence…yet believing in the power of praying!

Knowing everything is a phase….Yet believing that love might alter but it shall prevail!

Understanding that sometimes extreme pain is the manifestation of love…yet knowing love fills you up with infinite happiness!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009



To see something that does not exist... To go closer to discover that the mirage was just the diminutive pleasure I thought I experienced..! It hurts more because I never fathomed that what’s in the head and what’s outside are two divergent realities… Conflicting and disconnected..!


My frivolous existence and the trivial thought process not leading and not even misleading..! Getting caught up in the repetitive irony.. Looking for nothing and luckily finding just that.. no rules no philosophy no purpose no strive no struggle..!


Need to be notice… recognition and just vile appreciation..! My want to disconnect from the world that’s conjoined. To severe ties with my own self, an alter ego that’s constantly around..!


A sad reality, where I find love is exactly where I find my distance. I try hard to ignore the absence of love the harder it gets to ignore the loved..


Nothing seems to make any sense…
A lot like it?

The whole process of connecting to people is a long process. a split a break a rapture and the thread beaks..
“Sinking feeling”
I think I am going down.. lower reducing to exist in a vacuum that’s free of any all stimulation.. I am standing alone.. Strikingly aware of my loneliness…completely conscious of what I have yet absolutely oblivious to belonging..
“A full circle”
Oh reaching back to where I began. Restarting my journey uphill to descend and fall back..! again again and again..
Bizarre how I broke away.. Liberation accompanying a sudden loss.. A loss way too insignificant yet consequential…I could not protest.. I was not allowed to cry..!
It took me by full force… How immaterial it was yet I had gathered my minuscule little passion from it..!