"s-he"

So like the most, I was traumatized beyond believe reading how the women of certain states in India were objectified. How preposterous the facts were, “32” women raped in just three months! How did we get so immune to a crime that we speak nonchalantly quoting numbers, just unaffected?

I identify with the word “shame/ haya” and the baggage of being obligated to act within the parameters of what’s allowed and permitted. I know sometimes how violated I feel by just a pair of letchy eyes and hence, my imagination does not even permit me to quantify the pain, the anger, and the frustration, of a girl who would be subject to such extreme physical violence.

But I am most bewildered by the man who would stand tall and guiltless saying: “she called it upon herself”. As a society how did we reach this place of complete lack of compassion laced with such blatant ignorance.So even though the operative word was and is still, “rape”, I am appalled at the mind sets and justifications that were floating around. I was shamed and angered not just by the perpetrator but also by our society for shifting the blame of being raped on a woman.!

 In the paradox of such well defined gender existence, how did the women fall so low? Is she still repenting for the apple she once ate?

As a woman, I also understand the complexity of such defined physical bodily existence and I know how blessed we are to be created in this form. But pride may sometimes stem from the fear of feeling threatened, so while I am reemphasizing I am so proud to be a woman, I question if even that’s taking a stand in recognizing the gender inequality, difference and the biases.

 The paradigm of the most misinterpreted word called “Feminism” where we all hold hands looking back at the long journey we have undertaken, reinstating our independence, liberation and freedom.   I am concerned for how so much is still so little.

Men are still delusional about the power they hold, women are still covering their heads in burkha convinced it’s what they chose, little girls are being killed before they can even see the first ray of sunlight, young girls being molesting and being called sluts, domestic violence , banishing women to live in guilt and accepting their fate and educated intelligent women living with low esteem.

Can we restart the wheel where a man is sensitized to feel like a woman. We relearn to see, feel, comprehend the parallels of existence. It’s a beautiful yin-yan of conjoined existence, where we exist in such peaceful unity of acknowledging yet loving the difference. Hence we restart from the very beginning where apple dint signify sin but an instrument of realization of the elementary difference that existed or the irony of similarly of sorts!

\frac{d}{dx}(x^2)=2x.

So they say there are some indisputable facts (irrelevant if you may want to claim), but ones you can’t really deny. So 2+2 in most cases will be 4 unless you can’t count! Then in the boring maths class, we were convinced that you couldn’t add toys to ladders, or books to animals, as invariably it takes two of the same ‘type’ to be added together. You may need to devise a way to make things fall under a common bracket if you do wish to add them together, 8books+8Books=16 books?

As intriguing as that may have sounded, I never absorbed the metamorphoses of Maths, and its boisterous claims to be based on sheer logic and facts. It requires learning and “practice” to solve trigonometry problems, there is not much imagination and creativity but yet "sin, cos, tan" seem more of a pun to your logical side!

 So 856 magically multiplies itself with 8568 and the figure you get requires an ancient object called calculator! Then world of calculus which breaks down the worldly reality into differentiation and integration and seems like nothing but manipulation by the more “evolved” brains to distort and reinstate the limitation of the average “common” man.


 To a mere spectator of the bizarreness of maths, 1 seem to be lean and focused all by himself, assertive, not valued very highly and 2 seems to be the more humble one, poignant, content yet not sufficient, and 3 is odd, chasing behind 4 who seems rather arrogant and self important, 5 seems more mature, ambitious while 6 is a little lazy but overtly promiscuous and 7 is stable, more recognized and linear in more ways than one, 8 is significant through its insignificance, curvaceous and a bit loco and then concluding number 9, the more I say about it, the less it is.

 The anatomy of numbers may be crass but ultimately what all it has been applied to seems so brilliant that it may appear like a propaganda! Hence we may want to conclude that the thought process of Maths is so logically derived that the conclusion (= X) seem more of an aberration! Yet this popular man once said” 'The universe cannot be read until we have learned the language and become familiar with the characters in which it is written. It is written in mathematical language, and the letters are triangles, circles and other geometrical figures, without which means it is humanly impossible to comprehend a single word. Without these, one is wandering about in a dark labyrinth.'

Part-2: Note to self

1.Dude is not a word! Neither are anxcie and spendy! “Lol”! Yes the word vocabulary was intentional.

2.The only permitted short form is TMI, only because there is nothing better that may say “Too much information” in those many words!

3. “Overtly sweet” is so 90’s it died when Britney spears committed “the sin”.

4.If you are an adult, you better have an opinion about the vainest things, and because you are an adult human being you better be accepting of the other side of the story!

5. If you are bitchy and straight forward chances are you are my friend, and we will be together telling the world what we think of it!

6.There is a thin line between being straight forward and being mean, and if you are the later well there is this word “reality check”!

7.Being kind is super but sometimes it lacks empathy

 8.You may have all the money in the world, how you spend it is the real differentiator

9.Laziness is wasting yourself and for most obvious reasons worst than wasting water and natural resources

10.Watching TV is refusing reality and interfering with work of possibilities

11.The word possibility is a double edged sword

12.Madness is always permitted, but self inflicted pain is plain foolishness!

13.Love is so simple, that it takes time to accept that something so uncomplicated can still be profound

14.Hate and jealousy are more consuming than love, and yet only love can come to your rescue.

15.Connection to self is the only thing that may join you to what lies outside.

16.If you don’t read, there is a essential part of growth that you are willfully refusing

 17.Music is.. I doubt if there is any adjective that may ever complete that sentence

18.Word “Aukaad” is so multidimensional


19.Red and blue are not just colors!

20.
Complete is the most overated word.

You have failed me…

Yes, you crumbling old city, dying of your own lack of actions and deed. This dear city is stagnant and paralyzed by the ineffective anachronistic bureaucracy. The obsolete infrastructure is falling apart and the phrase “development” seems to be an oxymoron.

 It’s both strange and ironic that this very city takes great pride in being the commercial capital and yet the entire city seems to be in shambles. And the thing which irks me the most is that no one seems to be complaining!  So if have not seen a garbage dump within 300 metres of your house, its about time you step out of your air conditioned car.

This city seems to have made peace with the never ending trash, rubbish and the typical stink. So many times I hear my friends proudly exclaim “this is the Mumbai smell” .. (Oh so you have noticed this unpleasant smell??)

 So the best and the underrated irony of this city is its public transport. The buses which proudly calls itself “BEST” and the train which have lived way past its expiry date. Its self inflicted misery, if you have to travel in a train during the rush hours. If nothing it’s the clearest picture of the word “survival”, where there is little or no place for words like growth development and improvisation.

 So I ask myself- is it even human to share a space of 100 metres with 100 other people? Isn’t it gross violation of someone’s personal space? The idea of space in this big metro city is wonked, the idea of housing has been altered and a 50 sq metres is considered a “house” and for which you are fighting, bidding and saving every last penny that you have ever earned. The unrealistic cost for housing is preposterously ironic, it’s based on the primitive economics of supply and demand ratio. While the rest of the world would raise the basic question of value for money or the consumers need for quality, in bandra we succumb to high rentals simply because it’s marketed as the “hip” side of city and no one seems to know what is it that could be making it so hip!

 So then I hear certain nobody scream that “we don’t need outsiders in our city”, I am appalled with how unconstitutional that statement is, and how something so preposterous would take the centre stage in politics. Then a certain somebody shows up and says “I will shut all the night clubs and ensure no one partys to ensure safety” and I wonder if a fun harmless party at Zoe is the essential and critical issue which the city is dealing with.

 So enumerable times I hear people boost about the city’s resilience and fighting spirit, which I feel is often confused with sheer complacence only implying how inured we could be to all the lack that we live in. The place and time we are living in does not permit the city and power to still operate in the manner it does, and it’s strange that we are just being spectators, accepting and infact allowing such injustice and lack of order.

 It scares me that I may live in the world that does not demand change and rather closes its eyes to all the inadequacy and lack. But then I see the change in other cities like Delhi, Hyderabad, Ahmadabad, even Jammu and I can’t help but ask questions, why not Mumbai? The question is so rhetorical it almost seems like a pun! But I am glad I am asking questions and a slow transition towards demanding answers. The hope stems from our refusal to accept the way things are and that’s when change becomes mandatory..!!

if i could i would..

We have been preached through Ramayana that we were meant to operate within the Laxman Rekha that was drawn for us and the repercussions of disobeying such lines would only mean catastrophe. And to further comfort us, we were made to believe that such lines were drawn only for our safety and we were not equipped to fight the powerful demons that waited at the line to devour us!

 Each thought is head start to a limitless journey, course of which is but an experience. The end is where you draw the line and the line is mostly drawn or accepted by us simply because we presume anything beyond is not within our capability or control.

Hence limitation in most cases is nothing but our fear of what lies behind the line. What I am capable of, is a question to which the answer can be revealed only after I cross the boundary. The option or the choice is always with him who decides to comply or defy, either to operate within that framework of understanding or steps out of it to explore and redefine the very concept of his existence.

 The simplest and the most profound thing I heard was “you don’t have to be stuck at one place, you are not a tree” So the dexterous four limbs, those pretty eyes, a full talking mouth, and that powerful brain could not all just be a coincidence!

note to self

1. The primary difference between the protagonist and sidekick is his acceptance of being the sidekick!

 2.Motion is obligatory to experience

 3.Distance means displacement from point A to B, and there are infinite ways for it, may not always be the right, left or straight.

 4. What you say what you feel and what you do, need to be aligned and always in a straight line.

5. When he leaves he just about exists

6.There are a million ways of saying one thing, hence the word vocabulary!

7.Clarity and confusion are not the opposite, confusion and understanding are.

8.Purple is so closely related to red but you need red to make purple!

9. sometimes "I" act as the second and third person!

 10. All precise notes have 10 points.